The Hidden Faces & Silent Voices Behind Time...Lady Gray

I want to share with you some subjects that are very close to my heart. Issues that many would just as soon ignore until it's left on their doorstep or welcome mat. If not given attention or made a priority, these issues are going to become enormous for us in the future. Much greater than the housing or employment issues we now face.....

 This year has already proven to be turbulent within the elements and realms of ’Mother Nature’. She tests our character, strength and hearts...after surviving the ’storm’ we reap her beauty and are often awed by her power and ’glory’. Yet, there are other storms in life which we fight to survive also...our end reward is only pain, concealed scars, and ’passing time.’

This year to date, has been deadly for youth in America’s cities, where it seems ’gangsters’ have arisen from their resting places to once again leave ’dark chapters’ in the history books. It reminds me of the ’incubated mentality’ that has become a disease within the realms of youth, impoverishment, disenfranchisement and the elite within life’s capstone. The disease which is like a cancer that erodes society and stagnates our growth and development. I’m speaking of the negative and false portraits which so many have been conditioned to embrace as a leg of their journey in life.

That one will not be allowed to advance or grow unless they pay their dues to society first by entering the realms of incarceration, ’America’s Great Cash Cow’. That we too can carry within our own characters, the evil, bitter, violent, abandoned attitude that the realms and dimensions within the media, Hollywood and the government create for us to embrace. The ’nightmares’ and ’darker side’ of life that haunt individuals who have no strength within their own character to live through themselves, so they want to share their ’pain and misery’ with others.

Youth, who embrace ’negative portraits’ due to the quantity of exposure within their daily lives. Everywhere we turn we see images of ’evil’, chaos, mayhem, and disillusioned images of life. The images like the ’mentality’ behind them, have no lesson to be taught, no reason, purpose or answers to overcome the weaknesses or ’short-comings’ within man that they portray. Thus, the individuals who become a part of the painting, carry out actions depicting the mentality, with no cause, reason or purpose behind their actions or movement.

I often become angry with individuals who have fallen prey to the portraits and ’broken’ judicial system which they embraced, and do not have the strength within their character to step up to the plate to reveal the TRUTH. Men and young individuals who have been ’down’ for the ’count’ and do not want others to know of their weaknesses and short-comings. So they often cover-up their own nightmares and pain with ’blankets’ of ’grandeur’ and ’cottoncandy’ portraits. But as I have said many times over through the years...no man is an island.

Individuals who have the mentality that I did my time, so can they...some will prey on others to carry out their self-serving agendas, plans that they’ve whipped up on the inside, to ’conquer’ life this time around on the outside. They’ll tell you, that it was ’a piece of cake’, ’I do my time, nobody does it for me,’’I can do this little bit of time standing on my head,’ ’they’ll never break me, I’m my own man, I have strong will power.’

The youth (juveniles) and first time young adults within the realms of prison life, are the hardest individuals to ’protect’ and the ’easiest’ to prey upon. They learn too often very fast, that the only thing they have control over on the inside is their ’animalistic pride’. They’re often tortured, abused, preyed and played upon, mentally tortured,...this is done through ’isolation’ by not only individuals within the realms of their confinement, but by the judicial process as well. They feel abandoned by their ’biological’ families, significant other, street ’fam’, friends...many times as not the old phrase ’out of sight, out of mind’ applies. They become embedded with bitterness and misery...they think about the individual who told them that this was a ’piece of cake’, too late they see the ’weakass’ individual for his true ’colors’. 

What those men who have been released from time, don’t tell you about, are the ’nightmares’ that visit them. The cold sweats that come to sap them of their sleep. The screams and whimpering that wake them up from time to time in the night. 

The young and old inmates who visit the infirmary, if they’re lucky, because they read their cellies mail...not because the individual was nosy, but because they just wanted to touch life themselves. I’ve heard stories of men during the holidays getting killed for reading someone else’s Christmas card. Of youth and young adults being disabled for life for taking a packet of coffee or a tea bag. Of riots over changing the TV channel...

But the saddest information I’ve ever heard over the last 8 yrs, was from a lifer in a state penitentiary. He tells me of the new ’youth & meat’ in his unit. "All they talk about is pimping, selling drugs, getting high, or someone else’s girl they stole or raped. They don’t have a clue, a thought worth a dime, or respect for themselves. You really have to feel sorry for them. They’re easy to spot." Then he continued to tell me about the new arrivals and the youth filled with abandonment and misery. Who wait for the rain, so that they may open up the flood gate of emotions that they harbor within their souls. Mother Nature disguises their tears with rain, as they shuffle their feet on their way back from the yard or chow hall. They’re easy to spot for us lifers’ and especially for those gaurds on power trips. The men who have been down a while, run or jog to go inside out of the elements, but the "newbies’ they shuffle and drag their feet.

I’ve tried over the years to understand this mentality of destruction that the youth and young adults have today. Destroy before an element or individual gives us a reason, cause or purpose to harbor ill feelings. The displays of disrespect for life...that is something I have the hardest time dealing with. Since personally, I fight every day just to touch life and feel it vibrate from within and without. I’m not speaking about the vibration and gurgling of blood either as it leaves the body prematurely.

I find it a bitter pill to swallow, our present direction in life and the struggle that is placed upon us as individuals. I’ve done many things in my lifetime...met some very intelligent and influential individuals. But I’m finding out that the greatest minds and answers for issues which concern us as a society and a ’whole’ are being silenced within the ’Great American Cash Cow’. Minds of youth and individuals who at one time had great dreams and spirit...now silenced, abandoned and harboring our future in their souls and hearts. Maybe that is why we have seen no movement or greatness the last couple of decades. Those whom had answers and great aspirations to move life in positive directions, were deviated from a righteous pursuit. By individuals who prey on ’negativity’, ’weaknesses, blindness and that time within life when individuals become ’Knotheads’.

There are so many youth today who look to the future and see a ’black hole’ or abyss. Yet they hold the ’future’ and the ’world’ in their hands. However they are told that they only hold ’one’ corner, ’one’ block, and one position within life...they believe in the portraits that have been painted for them by those who capitalize off from their blindness and ’Knothead’ attitude. 

I’m disappointed with society as a ’whole’ when it comes to the ’growth and development’ of our youth. It seems today that they go from being children, directly to being adults, life’s little soldiers and ’clones’. I believe that is due to the fact, that most adults today are miserable and we all know that misery loves company. We are also envious of what they possess, since we lost it, we’re not going to let them have it either...

 How they only see beauty, happiness,...their creativity, recklessness...their abundant supply of love, faith and trust in the ’WHOLE’ of life. Where we see ’mud’ after a storm and walk around it, they kick off their shoes, roll up their sleeves, and make ’mud pies’. When we see a new batch of ’baby ducks’, we see them in our minds as full fledged ducklings, leaving their little droppings all over for us to step in. The youth will come every day to see the baby ducks on parade, waiting for them to get their wings to take their first flight.

Take a child into a children’s ward of a hospital once...they see no colors, no pain, no disease or ugliness...they just want to play and find out what’s wrong with their ’new’ little friend. When did we as a society, stop letting children be children, before we asked them to carry our burdens for us??? I hang my own head often in shame....you’re not alone.

What I find so amusing is that most children and young adults today, harbor within their souls, more ’common sense’ and ’strength’ than adults. Perhaps that is because life is still new to them...they see life in its purest form...therefore they’re not going to believe an ’ugly’ portrait immediately...when they discovered the beauty of it first.

I try to let youth and young adults see the false portraits and ’mad artists’ behind them. I want them to know that they have more strength, common sense, creativity, intelligence and room for growth than most adults. I hate to see the ’souls’ of our youth, ’the hurricane lamps’ of hope, dreams and wishes, consumed by the negative portraits painted by ’mad artists’ who are envious of an aspect of character they can’t capture in their paintings any longer.

I hope that our youth and children will be allowed to be children, for just a while longer. That their ’pristine’ views of ’life’ and the ’world’ will not be tainted by ’Knotheads’ and ’Blindmen’ who no longer hold the strength to dream in a pristine and righteous manner. That adults will find the strength within their own struggles to spend time with their children and youth from their community, to capture just a little bit of love, faith and trust again in life...in tomorrow.

I leave you as I came with a great deal of love and respect for life

Lady Gray

CAN YOU SMELL IT ANYMORE?

CAN YOU SMELL IT ANYMORE?

I remember the days of yore when I could smell it…it flared my nostrils, got under my nails, in between my toes and even my steel toed shoes had a bounce to them…it was the unbridled spirit of America. The spirit of America was in the atmosphere, the streets and avenues, the stores, the work place and the home front. Individuals gathered in small diners and cafes before going to work in the morning, to discuss the local scene and gossip, the state and national politics. The banter was aggressively light, humor thrown in and everyone asked you who you were going to vote for. Individuals went out their back doors in the morning to their jobs and careers with a dream that they could see on the horizon, knowing that their position in life was appreciated and they would be rewarded at the end of the week with a paycheck.

But the spirit of America, the smell of living and not just existing, is no longer within the boundaries of our country. You have to take a voyage to distant shores to now smell the spirit of a people, a nation. The commitment and frenzy, the electrodes that pierce each citizen to participate in his rightful freedom to vote and have that vote counted, is only a vision now witnessed by those third world countries who are trying to have the democracy that so many politicians here place in their front yards, with for sale signs on it. The last two years I have not had one individual ask me how I was going to vote, what I thought about the political dissension in both parties, or if I had a favorite politician. Politics has become tabu, like the discussions of religion in this nation. 

My nation, the dimensions of its judiciary and political realms, have fallen prey to portraits which were once painted 250 years ago on distant shores and lands by individuals who had fallen prey to a King’s rule. The very portraits of a life our forefathers not only lived ,but abandoned , whom fought to rid and free themselves of, at great self-sacrifice and suffering, to forge a nation. 

Today in our modern intellect and ideologies, they would not be known as “rebels with a cause”, but as terrorists on self-serving agendas and liberalists with ill-reputed intentions of radicalism and conspiring tyranny. They would have fallen prey to the very judicial and governing bodies which suppressed and enslaved them mentally and physically. They would be immured deep within the man-made walls of our penal systems, abused, tortured and made examples of within the social portraits. Their speech and cause would be silenced by the lethal henchmen and mercenaries of the governing body…for once again our nation has become the epitome of all that we once loathed and feared on distant shores.

Once again our beliefs in a higher power and force are falling under the scrutiny of those who govern and the judicial realms. We are becoming enslaved as productive members of society, merely “share croppers” for those whom are on self-serving agendas. Nothing but a brush stroke in the dark portraits of egotistical empowered journeys within the repetitive history of time.

The Patriot Act, portrayed as a “blanket of comfort and National Security”, is nothing more than a portrait, a canvas covered with man-made paranoia and fear, to suppress the dissension within the citizens of this nation for the direction our country is traveling on. To stifle the very elements within the citizens of this nation that once made it flourish, survive the struggles within life and have worldwide envy for the American dream and our way of life. There was a time on earth when we could point our fingers at other nations and still walk away with dignity and the respect of the world….as an American, one who loves this country very much, it doesn’t feel very good to now have every finger in the world, pointed your way….

With the growing tide of corruption within the government on the Hill, we see a new trendy fashion and fad sweeping America, on all levels of government and within all entities of politics. From down out right bold face lies by top elected administrative and appointed politicians, to our judicial and law enforcement realms. A new craze and fad is sweeping the nation, as citizens rush to gobble up the new psychological “foreplay” on the block.

With large corporate moguls and special interest groups dumping millions of dollars in “wetback” favors and campaigns to sway Washington their way, to the new “power mongers and thugs” within our Federal, State and local political realms, the nation’s roots of morality, ethics and humanity, corrode and dishearten the citizenry of a nation. As law enforcement and intelligent agencies patrol and protect the citizens of a nation, we see an increase in the violation of human right, the U.S. Constitution and the enforcement of laws, through bending and twisting age old policies and ethics.

The citizens of this nation are asked to give up their rights of privacy, morals and ethics for those whom would line their pockets with our sacrifices and sufferings. As those entrenched within the elite social ladder build larger silos to contain their erosive booty, those whom are impoverished and disenfranchised are asked to turn the other cheek and keep plugging the elite social meter.

The moral and ethical conduct portrayed by the nation’s top political figures is having a trickle down effect and conditioning America for a new history book to be written……

“Within the belly of a ship, lies the stench of many journeys. One can not truly enjoy the voyage, unless he is allowed to smell the breeze off the ocean and see the horizon in the light of day.”

“Where Art thou America of mine?”….
I leave as I came, with much love and respect for life….
Lady Gray- Mar. 1st, 2006

'The Awakening'..A New Era..Lady Gray

The Awakening
A New Era

           I come to all of life’s share croppers with the nth amount of due love & respect within the ‘struggle’(impoverishment & disenfranchisement). As the first decade in the 21st century has come to a close, I would like to share with you some thoughts on the departure of the last decade & the beginning of the present era.
           I’ve always felt that life has a way of taking care of itself…in the last decade Americans have once again been reminded, that we are not indispensable, untouchable or infallible within the total scope of life & all that it embraces. It seems when individuals get too big for their pants, life reminds us of our mind set & obesity.  It gives us lessons in sorrow, humility, integrity, self-worth in character, elemental needs of survival & a glimpse into the darker side of man himself. When life’s cistern becomes overwhelmed & needs to be relieved of its darkness…this is achieved by the ‘awakening’ of man himself so that light maybe shed upon the refuse he has created.
The past 10 yrs we’ve seen death & destruction within our shores. We’ve seen man & Mother Nature deal us lethal blows…our young Nation has wept, mourned & learned to embrace fear. The safe comfort zones that millions of Americans created for themselves saw an implosion within their infrastructure. The attack on the World Trade Center & Pentagon, two wars abroad in Afghanistan & Iraq, hurricanes Katrina & Rita, numerous tornados & floods, the collapse of our housing, industry & banking realms…the strain on our education, health care & social service sectors. Yes, life’s albatross visited America & left us with a crude & rude ‘awakening’. It has left Americans in what is known as ‘survival’ mode in the base of life’s pyramid.
As individuals in modern man’s pyramid & social structure we are all born as statistics…just another number in the population of the world. Yet, we have been reminded what a vital role we play in the total scope of life. So goes America, so goes the World. There is no corridor in the world that America has not graced its presence with. There is not a citizen in this country that has not been touched by the present disposition of our nation.
As individuals we are each a link in the chain of life. A vital link that can either strengthen or weaken the chain at any given place either partially or totally. When links in mass numbers are weakened the total chain loses its strength to only corrode & eventually snap in more than one realm & dimension. We look to the strongest links to fuse the chain of life again so its implementation may once again be vital in the mechanization of life’s total scope & portrait.
However, the strongest links have also fallen deeper into the chasms of their own weaknesses. As the Nation looks to politicians & corporations for reconstruction & reformation, they become disillusioned with an ‘American Dream’ that was authored & created by individuals in these very realms. Politicians who paint false portraits & use pretty little words on the campaign trail only to break promises once they reach our State & Federal Capitals, they suffer from bouts of self-imposed amnesia. Politicians who are so busy feasting at the banquets of corporations & lobbyists that their own obesity is becoming their own personal WMD. They have no time or desire to find new alloys to strengthen the weak links to make life’s chain once again complete & vital.
I have a word of caution for those who are so busy playing life’s ‘elite chess game’ that they fail to recognize the ‘weak links’ in life’s chain. I have always been a staunch believer in strength in numbers, along with collective knowledge & wisdom. As we have seen abroad since the beginning of this year, the isolated weak links within the chain have had their reason & purpose once again revealed to them. As the weak links pile up, they form a new chain steeled with resolve to take up the very mechanizations that the strong links have abused and abandoned.
To understand the survival mode of the elite, I went in search of past mental frame work that is applied today in various manners & means. A great deal of the wealth today is second & third generation inheritance, thus they cling to the achievements of their parent’s sacrifices & journey. Viewing their inherited wealth as a gift & individual property that they’re not accountable to in society through taxation, their role in the human race is left devoid of participation. They ride on the coat tails of those who had the strength to travel on life’s journey & leave something standing for tomorrow. They become bloated in materialism & self-gratification.
Within the base of life’s pyramid the majority have become complacent with government dependency & entitlements for their survival. Instead of combating their issues & weaknesses, they become comfortable as ‘mental pawns’ for those who have the courage to author the direction they would like to see life take. As individuals within impoverishment & disenfranchisement we have had our strength within  our character, ingenuity & will suppressed to see life become stagnate & unproductive.
We can not rely on one individual whether he is a CEO or President to motivate or revive the American Dream & a way of life for the whole of the citizenry. We can no longer afford to be complacent with the rulings & agendas of those who only see statistics & not the total value of man himself. Once again, the citizenry must become a reliable, driving force for the direction they wish the country to travel in. We must not allow our journeys to be mapped out for us or the scenery of our course in life chosen for us. We must once again enforce individually our inalienable rights of equality & prosperity. We must once again find the strength to create our own portrait of the American Dream & our interpretation of the quality of life we should be able to enjoy.
The strength of our Nation was founded on the spirit, will & dreams of its common citizenry. On the commitments & sacrifices of common men with dreams & few resources to achieve them. Numerous small dreamers who collectively fought the tyranny within our shores from a ruler and forces abroad so that the true essence of freedom & a democracy would be an option that we could embrace freely. Common men, who focused on the quality of life they wanted their children to be able to experience.
Without risks & sacrifices there is no room for growth. Without self motivation & effort it isn’t possible to leave anything standing for tomorrow or a legacy behind. We must learn to crawl again before we walk and walk before we run a race to the finish line. The chains which presently sap our strength from their burdensome weight must be used for scrap metal to fuel our small dreams so that we may once again live instead of merely exist. We must take responsibility for those chains & realize that nobody can remove them for us, for others don’t always hold the key to the padlock.
We must once again realize that our life is not measured by what we don’t have at the beginning of the day, but what we have to show for the day & our existence when the sun sets. A little progress at the end of the day for our efforts is better than nothing at the beginning of the next day. Whether it comes from mowing a yard for several dollars or helping out another human being in distress, we must not allow life to best man. As individuals we are in control of our destiny…we are the only species on earth with the ability to bob and weave, to adapt & adopt, to build & destroy.
Once again we must reconstruct the journey of America and the Dream we wish to follow. Rebuild America and our lives from the ground up. This process does not have to be done as a solo flight, but can be done with more than one participant who also desires to move life once again in a positive direction. Other recessions & depressions have not seen the present longevity of its existence due to the ingenuity & collective efforts of our citizenry. Two or three individuals pooling their knowledge & resources to start a small business or provide a service to their community. Many individuals received severance packages when corporations were down sizing, yet they fail to invest in their own character or tomorrow. There was a time in this Nation when bartering & co-ops were the foundation for advancement. We need to resurrect some of the knowledge & wisdom of yesterday & apply it to the advancement of man today.
I personally miss the spirit & will of Americans, when we not only touched the lives of our neighbors, but the world at large. When the world envied us as individuals & our way of life. When we were the leader of the pack within wealth, education, industry & technology…now we have all we can do to run our leg in a relay race. I would give anything if Americans would tear down the walls of the prisons they’ve created for themselves & have faith once again in their own capabilities as individual citizens. We must once again as individuals support & encourage the efforts of the common man & small business owner. We need to generate our position for self-employment so that we no longer have to depend on the self anointed few who are on self-serving agendas for our survival. We can no longer embrace false portraits or dreams painted by others if we want to thrive again as individuals. I often ask men, ‘What would happen if men took all of their negative energy & converted it to positive power? How much life could we move then?’ It’s time we abandon negativity & create positive movement on our own. Those who create self-serving agendas, false portraits & negativity will be left with an abundance of nightmares.
The greatest WMD known to negativity is reverse psychology by man & the assault of positivity; it is a death sentence all of its own. In conclusion to these thoughts I share with you…I leave you with one of the greatest examples of human spirit & will power.
This year is the 150th anniversary of the Civil War. A war for some which was fought to retain individual rights & for others a war which would emancipate all. I remind you of a time in our country when individuals were enslaved. When they were bought & sold as commodities throughout this nation. When individuals were whipped, beaten, raped, had their children & significant others sold. When they were suppressed & oppressed as individuals to only serve a master & their own reason & purpose in life was denied them by the genteel humans who held their lives in their hands. I leave you with a quote of mine…may you also learn to sing, dream & have faith in yourself & life once again.
‘They sang on the way to the fields, the drying sheds, smoke houses, plantation houses & cabins…they even sang under the lash’.
I leave you as I came with a great deal of love & respect for life itself….
Lady Gray

'Human Potholes' ...Lady Gray

Human Potholes’
By: Lady Gray

I come to all of the members of the Human Race with the nth amount of due respect & love for life…this article is to provoke the human thought process. Feel free to express your thoughts.

In the World today, where the majority is made to feel insignificant & menial by the minority, it seems futile to develop one’s self worth in character. For every positive step we take forward, negativity pushes us two steps back. The majority seldom tally all of those baby steps, they focus on the ability of the minority to push us back on our journey in life. Yet the strength of the ‘insignificant’ & ‘meek’ have always found the strength to conquer & overcome when their life is being suffocated by the self-appointed minority. We accept our suppression & oppression so long, then we arise in unity when our very existence is threatened.  When life riddles our journey with too many ‘potholes’ to continue. Yes, life will always support the ‘sharecroppers’ of the World with ‘potholes’.

When there is a ‘pothole’ on your street…does that tell you to just be cautious on your travels? Or does it say much more? That ‘pothole’ has become very vital to life, if not significant to the ‘total picture’ of reason & purpose. The ‘pothole’ may exist for months. The traveler’s instinct kicks in, being ever so careful not to disrupt his journey, he will go around that ‘pothole’, day in & day out. The traveler, focused on his own mission & agenda, will fail to hear or see the message the ‘pothole’ is trying to deliver.

“LOOk’ around you, your neighborhood & community are in need of maintenance & repair.”  There comes a time when the significance of the ‘pothole’ is noticed & felt. It’s message silenced & covered up. For days the majority will continue to go around the ‘pothole’ by instinct alone, until they recognize that it has been repaired. But now when we drive over the ‘pothole’, our journey doesn’t feel the same. A ‘pothole’ that the minority would have you believe is trivial & insignificant, yet it caused hundreds daily to go around it on their travels…

Life has given society ‘human potholes’ as well…all with a reason & purpose, a message that has to be delivered. ‘Human Potholes’ come in all sizes & shapes, some of them are easily recognized, others are cloaked in darkness to test our built in instincts & survival modes. When a ‘potholes’ message falls on deaf ears, it’s trivial beginnings become significant  & can reach enormous proportions. As humans we also host ‘potholes’, if they’re not recognized & dealt with, they will soon consume our being & become our demise. From the trivial to the enormous, ‘potholes’  are part of our existence, whether or not we recognize them & heed their advice is for another thought.

What about the ‘human potholes’ that we find to be a nuisance  & irksome? The importance of their existence that we fail to recognize. The self-appointed Guardians of our block: the ‘elderly man or woman’ who sits on their porch or behind a window & just watch. They know all the comings & goings…give love & tongue lashings to our children…wave, hand you a flower as you pass by, nod, shake their head or just ignore you all together. They’re significance & the role they played in our portrait is not recognized until they’re removed or covered up.

The drug dealer & gang members…they stand outside of their residence & on the street corner every day. We drive by & see them…we look outside & know they’re there. We know their faces, what they’re doing…they’re very existence becomes part of our daily portrait. Then one day you drive by, the corner  is empty, there’s no lights on in their residence. All of a sudden you notice the portrait doesn’t feel the same…something is missing.

The defiant juvenile, who made you shake your head & raise the hair on the back of your neck. The little rebel who didn’t understand the importance of his role in life or what a significant part in the portrait of our daily lives he took. Then one day, he’s gone from us too soon. Taken from life, by larger ’potholes’. His shoes no longer grace his home or run on our sidewalks. His laughter, smile, occasional wave or smart ass answer are now absent. The neighborhood loses strength & our portrait never looks the same again.

The largest ’potholes’ in life’s pyramid are claimed by the minority.  The politicians, globalists, corporate overseers & dictators. You can find them at the top of the ‘Pothole Charts’. They’re images & significance remind us of what happens to a trivial pothole when it is not recognized or heeded. When the cost of its maintenance & repair become to burdensome for the majority to consider. Soon the eyesore ‘pothole’ becomes undesirable for the daily portrait of our lives. Instead of removing or repairing the ‘eyesore’ we find another way to travel. If the majority uses their ‘significant’ strength in numbers & chooses another route for their journey, the enormous ‘pothole’ will crumble unto itself.

‘Human Potholes’ are created by weaknesses within our lives that we fail to recognize or address. Many times we become accustomed to life’s ‘potholes’. But when they claim you, when you no longer have the strength to crawl away from them, then the daily portrait of your existence is no longer of your choosing or design. Denial is the seed which creates ‘potholes’. We must make the ‘seeds’ accountable…be aware of their care & growth.

Each day on our travels, the enormous ‘potholes’ are assaulting our ‘mental chassis’  & daily portraits. Our existence has become threatened & burdensome. We become weakened by the numerous attacks & assaults on our character & portraits. We feel disheartened, helpless, worthless …our character’s greatest ‘FEAR’ is that we will start to take on the traits of the enormous ‘potholes’. We fear ‘touching life’ within our existence…should we be assaulted for our efforts.

The enormous ‘potholes’ are allowed to exist due to the fact, that we’re so busy going around them, trying to keep our chassis in tact that we don’t have time to give it the attention it needs to be repaired. We all feel that ‘no one man’ can get the job done. So the existence of the ‘pothole’ grows….however I remind you of the small ‘pothole’ that was so significant that it caused hundreds if not thousands to feel its presence. Or how it was allowed to become enormous & affect the existence of ‘millions’.

Let us not forget the movie, ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ one of my favorites. George Bailey thought that he was the most ‘insignificant’ man in town. By the end of the movie, he was actually the ‘most important’ man in town. There are some rewards in life, that can not be measured by the ‘size of the pothole’ or the cost of maintenance & repair.

I want each & every human to realize, that you do count in life’s total scope & without your existence, my daily portrait wouldn’t look or feel the same….thank you for playing a role in my ‘daily portrait’.

I leave you as I came, with the nth amount of due love & respect for life….
Lady Gray

'Sorry' ..An Oil Magnate..'King Of The Mountain'

‘Sorry’..An Oil Magnate

‘King  Of The Mountain’

As I watched the world around me awaken, I wanted to reveal some of the character of those who threw it into darkness. Their drive, mentality, misery & FEAR. I couldn’t do this without returning to the  past for the best lesson to be taught to the ‘people’ of today. Every time I read a headline, the old phrase ‘Misery loves company’ plays its own chorus line over and over again. The following is based on the figure of an ‘Oil Tycoon & Magnate’ whom I once had the pleasure of meeting. In general his character speaks for the life of many within the top 3% today…& those who try to follow in his footsteps. I’ve always thought of him as ‘Sorry’ & that is the name I am bestowing upon him in this article.
It starts out innocently enough…on school yards, empty lots, piles of snow & sand. Then it progresses to back smoke filled rooms, country clubs, board rooms & the halls of our political realms. The game ‘King of the Mountain’ which takes strength, cunning & endurance. The reward is the title, image & power…
‘Sorry’ was like many who pursued the American dream…a desire to excel with a vision to leave something standing for tomorrow & have his name in the history books. What he didn’t realize is that it takes longer for a mountain to be created, then it does for it to crumble. That too he would discover over 30 yrs later.
I was living in Las Vegas, NV in the early 80’s. Many within society would come there to escape life, to let their hair down, to do things they couldn’t do in their own backyard. On the occasion when I met ‘Sorry’ he didn’t come to Las Vegas to escape from life, but to find it once again. I’ve said many times over that those in the capstone cherish what those within life’s base have in their character, while those in life’s base cherish what the elite have in their closets. This philosophy is due to the life’s lessons I was taught for 3 days by ‘Sorry’. His own journey & struggles would have a profound impact on my life, even now almost 30yrs later.
‘Sorry’ was sent to me via a friend of his out of TX, a retired State Sup. Ct. judge that I had on occasion played Texas Hold’em with. The Judge felt that if anyone could help ‘Sorry’ experience life again, I could. Thus began a deep relationship for me with life itself….
I will now let ‘Sorry’ tell you of his life, the way he told it to me. It seems today, many like ‘Sorry’ are destroying what our ancestors left standing for tomorrow. In some respects I can understand why, maybe ‘Sorry’ can also help you to understand ‘why’. There comes a time in life, no matter how many fingers you point in other directions, you will not be able to live with the image in the mirror…..
My name is ‘Sorry’….I’m just a man who hails from Tx, who once had a dream. My dream started in the late 40’s…when I became fascinated with oil. Like many of those before me, I started out as a ‘wildcat’. I drilled my first oil well myself…there is no high in the world money can buy, like the feeling you get seeing your well come in for the first time..’TX Tea’, ‘Black Gold’. I was able to pay off the loan I received from the bank the first month she was in. I was young & celebrated, so did my friends. The well was paying off well, so I wanted to drill again. The celebration didn’t last long…I didn’t feel that high. I ended up as a ‘wildcat’ for the first 6 wells we drilled. I worked right beside my friends I was able to employ & others from my town.
After my 3rd well, I no longer found it economically beneficial to sell my oil to other distributors, so I started my own company. I began purchasing land & lease options to drill from some of the ranchers in my region. On each of these first wells, I was able to invest in half of the cost & sought loans for the rest from bankers & private individuals. I became known for my ‘TX Gold’ instincts & all of the wells I drilled came in.
What I wasn’t prepared for, was the ‘power struggles’. There were those who already made it in the oil industry who didn’t want competition. I learned about the corporate world I entered through the school of hard knocks. I soon found myself with my back against the wall. Competing for land & lease contracts with oil tycoons. I was finding myself investing more of my own assets for the wells…in price wars to distribute the oil I was already pumping.
It was during this time, that I started to lose pieces of myself. I was no longer able to drill & experience the high of bringing in the wells myself. I was too busy protecting what I already had…wheeling & dealing…learning what palms I had to put the most grease in. During this time..I started to lose many close friendships with the working stiffs I had once enjoyed so much. They felt that I was unapproachable now…I became their boss, responsible for their survival.
As a corp. we began drilling well after well…instead of wheeling & dealing with distributors to take our oil, we decided to build our own gas stations. My position & image in TX magnified & intensified. I was making money hand over fist…yet, I didn’t feel the same high. Most individuals in my biz felt a high with a new land purchase, lease or gas station…but not me. My employee base the first 10 yrs grew to hundreds…I was known for being fair. After all, I once had been where they still are.
In the mid 60’s I found myself in the inner circle of TX society & politics…I was down with the ‘Green Machine’. Johnson was in office…my corp. had already began drilling in other states. Ok, WY, MT & CO. By this time I had several thousand employed. But I still couldn’t find that natural high I received from my ‘wildcat’ days. Thus, I thought my money could find it for me. I began investing in stocks, other minerals…I became known as one of life’s sharks.
Here I am 30 yrs later…searching for a high that no amount of money can buy. I’m seen as ‘untouchable’, ‘unapproachable’…I’m responsible now for over 10,000 employees & their families. I don’t particularly like being ‘King of the Mountain’. The things I’ve had to do to get there & stay there. Some of my fellow competitors will smile at you over a drink at the country club, but they’d cut your throat if they could in the rest room.
I’m only involved now with corp. decisions…large land purchases, off-shore oil leases, approvals for advertising campaigns, etc. My position & image demands that I attend certain social functions in TX & other political events. I’m now known as a ‘dark horse’. The first time I was asked to the White House, I was honored, I didn’t feel a high though. In my life, the only time you’re invited to something or someone comes to you, is because they want something. Whether it’s money or help dealing with a situation. They don’t come to you just to share time or life….
So now I’ve come to a point where I find myself in search of ‘life’ itself. I’ve done & seen everything that money could buy…from the Seven Wonders of the World, immoral business practices to political power. Everything I have in my life has been purchased. From my wife & children to my friends & image. I take pills now to go to bed & more to wake up. You may think this is silly…but my greatest fear in life, is that I’ll go broke, lose everything, my family included. That my phone will never ring, because everything & everyone in my life has been purchased.
I’d give anything today if I could be where everyone else is. If I could feel that ‘high’. I’m responsible now for tens of thousands of employees & their families. I feel like I’m walking on egg shells…everything I have is purchased. Now with this recession under Reagan & Bush in the jockey seat…I don’t find myself no longer the ‘shark’ I once was. My best friend has become ‘fear’ itself…my mountain has become too crowded, my dream my worst ‘nightmare’.
I left TX, just told them I was going to do some traveling. They didn’t care for that, not knowing where I was going. But hey, what can they do, I’m the owner. I have 3 days to find life again to give me strength & drive to maintain my own existence. I don’t want to be known for those 3 days for who I am now, but what I once was. I don’t want the glitter or sin this city has to offer…I want to be Joe Schmuck from Timbuktu. I want to see & be around the working class…I want you to show me life again through your eyes.
PS. ‘Sorry’ received his wish for 3 days…he seemed much happier than the man who first appeared. He laughed, spoke & drank with dozens of working stiffs. He removed his 4 piece suit, his Stetson & python boots for jeans & a work shirt.
But several years later his greatest Fear became reality…I’ve wondered about ‘Sorry’ all of these years. If some of his friends from his earlier days ever called. I do know that other ‘dark horsemen’ helped him, not because of who he was, but because of what they owed him in the business & political realms.
I hope now…that ‘Sorry’ is content being where everyone else is.
This is dedicated to the ‘Sorry’ people everywhere & those who become victims of their dreams & life…..
Love & Respect,
Lady Gray

The Pen-v-The Sword

I come to those of you in life’s struggle, those within ‘the life’ and those who choose to fall prey to the agendas of the ‘streets’. I feel a need to share with all of you chapters within my life that I have shared with men judged within the judicial realms of society. I want to share with you history, knowledge, wisdom and characteristics… the elements of which I refer to as ‘psychological foreplay’ for the conditioning of social and judicial hostages within our civilization. 

“The pen is mightier than the sword.” My perception and insights to this quote follow. ‘The sword is only a tool of power to the man who holds it. The empowerment of the tool can only be implemented as long as the individual has the strength to wield it.’ The old phrase, “A man who lives by the sword, dies by the sword,” is soundly noted and appreciated. Within the history of the world we have had men who have been called ‘great conquerors’, they lived, ruled and many times as not, died by the sword 

The pen on the other hand, has forged Nations, has given us the ‘knowledge and wisdom’ to survive life and time as a civilization. It has brought the ‘whole of the people’ within the history of the world the ‘answers’ and ‘strength’ to survive life’s struggles, trials and tribulations. 

Mankind since the creation of our presence here on earth, has always had an inbred necessity to be challenged. Those who were physically or mentally depraved, often perished or failed in life, unless another member of society took up the challenge to be responsible for the survival of said person. 

Life today is chaotic and some what crazy, almost pathetic for those of us who love and respect life for both its weaknesses and strengths. Life is like a pyramid. Today those in life’s capstone are on a constant diligent search for what those in the base possess within their character. Those within the base of life are insistently in pursuit of what those in the capstone have in their closets. 

For those within the base of the pyramid, the impoverished, disenfranchised, oppressed and suppressed , our purpose within life has been revealed to us many times over since the beginning of time. We are the strength which supports eternal life here on earth. Our strength has often been suppressed and oppressed through mental conditioning, instilling inferior complexities that deter and hinder our advancement within life’s pyramid. Those within the capstone are forced to reign more and more by the Sword, lacking the character which they seek in the base. They continually embrace materialism. 

The greatest power that we possess as a ‘whole’ in the base is within our character. While the power that those in the capstone cherish is in their closets. I give to you the following analogy: In the great stock crash of 29 and the ‘Great Depression’, the following should be taken within the wisdom of all. Those within life’s capstone, who saw their lives come tumbling down around them that day, it was too much for them to bare within their character. Many jumped from buildings, out windows or pulled a trigger. You didn’t see that being done within the base of life. We ate less, stood in soup lines, slept outside…for those from the south who felt that the men to the North had freed them and became servants in their homes. I want it known that many men and women of color, not only took reductions in pay because they knew their employer didn’t have the strength to survive alone. But often, they lived right in the house and took no pay whatsoever. They had compassion for the man with little strength and displayed more humanitarian efforts and traits than those within the capstone themselves. That’s right, if it was not for the strength within our character, our compassion and passion for life itself, there would be no capstone. Such events as these have occurred throughout the history of mankind. I have noted it as far back as Roman times. 

The greatest power that we in the base possess that those within the capstone seek and envy is within our character and its traits. We have an inbred ability and talent to change and adapt, to bob and weave. Note taken, you may take a man from the base, a self-righteous, meek and humble individual and place him within life’s capstone and he will prevail. But if you take an individual within life’s capstone and place him within the base with his closets empty, he will perish unless individuals within the base pick up the challenge and help him to survive. There were not people within the base taking their lives in 1929, there were not individuals within life’s base taking their lives when Lee surrendered to Grant at Appomattox . But there were individuals within the capstone who succumbed to the weaknesses within their character. 

With this knowledge and wisdom within life’s capstone of the strength within the base of life’s pyramid, there has always been suppression and oppression within surviving life. There has always been slavery. This has been accomplished by restricting the flow and distribution of knowledge and wisdom for those in the base. Our options for a higher education and advancement lack not only diversity, but the level of quality. The need of those who wield the sword and seek a lifetime for our character, to suppress and oppress the mental frame work of those in the base. 

Throughout the history of past and present civilizations, there has always been some form of slavery and imprisonment. I don’t believe it has ever been about color, race or creed, but more so, ignorance and weaknesses possessed by those in the capstone. To further the depth of this insight and revelation, I will reveal a fact of our own slavery here in the United States . During the days of slavery throughout our budding Nation. Those who possessed slaves had no conception of the strengths within their characters in the base. They whipped, abused, starved, isolated, raped and preyed upon the mentality of slaves. They sold off their seeds from the loins of their women. They sold off the men within families thinking that they would weaken the nucleus of the Black family. Despite all of these Swords that the slaves suffered from within life, every day when they went to the fields, the smoke houses, the main plantation houses, they all did one thing. They sang their praises to life. This irritated those who possessed them to no end, not comprehending why individuals praised life, when if the shoe was on the other foot, they themselves would not be singing praise or surviving. No matter what type of Sword they created, they could not break their spirit and will. 

With this knowledge and wisdom in hand, let us apply it to the ‘life’ and ‘struggle’ today. For those of you who have sought me out in search of knowledge in the stages within the ‘life’ that are often referred to as ‘top dogs’ and OG’s, pay close attention. If your ass is numbing out, let me know and I will sink my teeth a little deeper. 

Those within life’s base not only ‘struggle’ to survive the Swords which are wielded today, but we have compounded our burdens by restricting our options and advancement in life. Those of us in life’s base, have become our own worst enemy. 

We assist the Swords in draining our characters and resources for advancement. We went from communities and neighborhoods to just ‘hoods’. This was accomplished by the elite and those within the capstone by the erection of projects and slums. My definition of projects and slums follow. “It is modern man’s concentration camp, developed to suppress and detain a certain class of impoverished and disenfranchised citizens, to deter and dishearten their ‘spirit and will’ to advance within life’s pyramid.” 

Certain individuals within these environments and developments, envious of what the elite and those in the capstone had hanging in their closets, decided to pick up the Sword and embrace its false strength. We began to limit our options and advancement by placing judgments and boundaries on others within our base. We boxed ourselves in life even further by creating boundaries, ‘hoods’ and ‘turf’. We picked up the Swords for those within the capstone to rid ourselves of our strength, to prey on and further delete the resources within the base. 

Every time another life within the base is taken, we lose 2 grains of sand from our strength and within our investment for the future. We lose one grain by the taking of blood. We lose the other through imprisonment within the walls of time. Thus weakening the character within even the ‘hood’. Everyday across this country, grains of sand leave the base, like the sand which runs through an hour glass. 

When our mentality shifted to installing boundaries, the strength within our character began to diminish. Weakening the elements which give our character strength. The elements of Roots, Heritage, Wisdom, Compassion and Passion for life itself. When those within the capstone recognized this shift and character trait, they further capitalized on it, by removing the self-implemented Swords from our ‘hoods’ and isolating the ‘Pen’. 

The greatest advancement and victory seized within the base of the pyramid is well noted with the Civil Rights and Human Rights victories of the 60’s and early 70’s. These victories were not accomplished by the Sword, but by peaceful movement and the Pen. Seeing that the base had captured the Power of the Pen, they removed some of our greatest leaders and mentors within the base. Over the history of our time the greatness of individuals like Medgar Evans, Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, Larry Hoover and others were not only isolated, but removed from life. All of these men understood, that one of the ‘Golden Keys’ to the ‘Temple of Life’ was in the peaceful demonstration of the Pen and within singing the praises of life itself. Today, many have tried to advance life by the ‘false’ portrait of power displayed by the Sword and have failed. Their efforts resulting in death, destruction, imprisonment and the advanced weakening of life’s base. 

There is a difference between a bad leader amongst the base and a good leader within the base, both distributing the advancement of life by the Sword. One may feel that the Power of the Sword maybe their only option for relief from the ‘struggle’. The other may see the Sword as an effective tool in advancing his own self-serving agenda of capturing what the elite hold within their closets. When the Sword is used to seek relief, it sends a negative portrait of weak desperation. Thus I give to you the organizations of terrorists and ‘freedom cells’ which distribute acts of violence to portray their struggles. In the end, the social realms only perceive destruction and annihilation, not the journey or the portraits of pain and misery which led them to pick up the Sword in the first place. 

You can often tell the difference between the two classifications of Sword baring men. One will be righteous in his judgments and decisions, ruling not only with ‘knowledge and wisdom’ but compassion as well. The other will rule by the ‘Sword’ only, with little wisdom and seldom with the exertion of compassion or empathy. A man who wields a sword for the whole of his people or those under his care, to seek peace and advancement, will be a man with a legacy in the history books. But a man who wields the Sword with little thought or consideration for those within his realms or under his care, on a self-serving agenda, will fall when his arms get to heavy to swing the sword himself. He lives by the motto, “It’s a dog eat dog world”, thus displaying no respect for those within the base or life itself. 

When a leader directs his cause by the ‘Pen’ his intellect and understanding of life and man will prevail. His strengths of ‘knowledge and wisdom’ will be victorious and leave a legacy for generations to come. He will recognize the weaknesses within those who follow. If he has an individual with treachery and larceny in his heart, the Sword will not touch him. He will not let the individual get any bigger within ‘the life’ itself, he will not allow him to eat from his dish, but have the wisdom to know that the individual can still bring sustenance to his well of knowledge and put water in his dish. On the other hand, The Sword, will rid himself of the individual, displaying the ‘fear’ factor as a message to others, begin his search for another to take his place and rule by the Sword to put water in his dish. 

The differences between these two are further detected by their displays of mentality. While one thinks of himself and ‘living for the moment and today’. the other thinks of living for tomorrow and how many from the base will see the sun rise on the horizon. A ‘top dog’ who does not think of our ‘Seeds for Tomorrow’ the youth, the future which will entertain the ‘strength of our character’ in the base, is on a self-serving agenda. He will not care if those who put food in his dish, eat themselves or not. 

A man who rules out of ‘fear’ and wields the Sword lacks the ‘character’ which gives strength to the base. He is often insecure due to his lack of ‘knowledge and wisdom’. He is often paranoidal to the effect that he believes that everyone who follows in his foot steps, are after what he also seeks and has in his ‘closet’. His greatest tool to advance his agenda are the tools of ‘fear’ and ‘The Sword’. He often asks others to do the deeds which he himself does not have the strength to carry out or stomach. He uses portraits and vices of negativity to condition and lure his followers or subjects. His subjects not realizing they drain their own strength to fuel their leaders ego and shortcomings, are soon discarded when they also lose strength and the stomach to carry out horrendous acts against humanity and heinous crimes. 

The ‘Pen’ on the other hand will look for peaceful tools and options which will further advance the growth of his subjects. He will have compassion and empathy for his fellow man. He will make sure that those within his ‘hood’ also have food on their plates. He will enlighten those within his realms in regards to the vices, weaknesses and false portraits, so they do not fall or succumb to elements which will drain their individual strengths. For when individuals within his community are weak and disheartened, the ’whole’ withers and dies, losing the elements and traits which make our survival possible as we ’struggle’ to advance life. Thus draining his own strength and blessings bestowed upon him by life itself for tending to the preservation of those within the base and life. 

Men have always had judgments passed upon them in regards to self worth, materialism, friends, family and spouse. In choosing a spouse, sometimes referred to as ‘your better half’, or ‘within’ the life as “your best line of security‘, the mate is often chosen as a reflection of the man’s self worth in character. 

Always remember that your mate should be just as strong or stronger than your own character. For they are not only ‘your best line of security’, but also referred to as your ‘weakest link.’ Often an individual who rules by ‘fear’ and ‘wields the sword’, will choose a mate with greater weaknesses than his own. Relying on that absence of strength to protect his own agenda and make his mate totally dependent on his character and position. Not realizing that a mate who was just as strong, would further advance his agenda and enhance his own strength. 

An individual who rules by the ‘Pen’ however, searches for someone with strength akin to their own or more so. They recognize the strength and power within their unity and advance life through mutual co-operation and respect. Men who rule with fear and by the Sword, are not above violence on their own and mates. Men who rule by the ‘Pen’ realize, if they have to abuse the ones they love, then they don’t need them! 

Over the years, I have come to the conclusion, that those in the base have more than their share of life’s trials and tribulations visit them. It is due to the strength which they possess within their character. We embrace the challenges, survive, exist and live to dream of peace, an oasis for a civilization. In meeting the challenge, we expound our strengths and self character. We cherish and respect life, all its blessings and failings, beauty and ugliness. 

The Sword-v-The Pen…which has the greatest strength? The Sword who does not have the strength to survive a challenge and therefore slays it. Or the Pen, who accepts and embraces the challenge, uses their own intellect and strength in character to successfully overcome life’s challenge? 

You decide where your character will take you, whether you will survive long enough to endure life and its challenges, to write your own legacy for the generations to come. The ‘old folks’ have a saying, “You made your bed, now you lie in it!” In this case, it’s between a bed and a coffin…feathers or silk? Legacies…or empty photo albums, b-days, your children’s first steps, prom, marriage, or your seeds giving the gift of life? 

Are we not all share croppers in life….we get out of life, what we invest in it. We harvest, what we have chosen to sow….. 


I leave you as I came, with a great deal of love and respect for life….. 

Lady Gray