'Sorry' ..An Oil Magnate..'King Of The Mountain'

‘Sorry’..An Oil Magnate

‘King  Of The Mountain’

As I watched the world around me awaken, I wanted to reveal some of the character of those who threw it into darkness. Their drive, mentality, misery & FEAR. I couldn’t do this without returning to the  past for the best lesson to be taught to the ‘people’ of today. Every time I read a headline, the old phrase ‘Misery loves company’ plays its own chorus line over and over again. The following is based on the figure of an ‘Oil Tycoon & Magnate’ whom I once had the pleasure of meeting. In general his character speaks for the life of many within the top 3% today…& those who try to follow in his footsteps. I’ve always thought of him as ‘Sorry’ & that is the name I am bestowing upon him in this article.
It starts out innocently enough…on school yards, empty lots, piles of snow & sand. Then it progresses to back smoke filled rooms, country clubs, board rooms & the halls of our political realms. The game ‘King of the Mountain’ which takes strength, cunning & endurance. The reward is the title, image & power…
‘Sorry’ was like many who pursued the American dream…a desire to excel with a vision to leave something standing for tomorrow & have his name in the history books. What he didn’t realize is that it takes longer for a mountain to be created, then it does for it to crumble. That too he would discover over 30 yrs later.
I was living in Las Vegas, NV in the early 80’s. Many within society would come there to escape life, to let their hair down, to do things they couldn’t do in their own backyard. On the occasion when I met ‘Sorry’ he didn’t come to Las Vegas to escape from life, but to find it once again. I’ve said many times over that those in the capstone cherish what those within life’s base have in their character, while those in life’s base cherish what the elite have in their closets. This philosophy is due to the life’s lessons I was taught for 3 days by ‘Sorry’. His own journey & struggles would have a profound impact on my life, even now almost 30yrs later.
‘Sorry’ was sent to me via a friend of his out of TX, a retired State Sup. Ct. judge that I had on occasion played Texas Hold’em with. The Judge felt that if anyone could help ‘Sorry’ experience life again, I could. Thus began a deep relationship for me with life itself….
I will now let ‘Sorry’ tell you of his life, the way he told it to me. It seems today, many like ‘Sorry’ are destroying what our ancestors left standing for tomorrow. In some respects I can understand why, maybe ‘Sorry’ can also help you to understand ‘why’. There comes a time in life, no matter how many fingers you point in other directions, you will not be able to live with the image in the mirror…..
My name is ‘Sorry’….I’m just a man who hails from Tx, who once had a dream. My dream started in the late 40’s…when I became fascinated with oil. Like many of those before me, I started out as a ‘wildcat’. I drilled my first oil well myself…there is no high in the world money can buy, like the feeling you get seeing your well come in for the first time..’TX Tea’, ‘Black Gold’. I was able to pay off the loan I received from the bank the first month she was in. I was young & celebrated, so did my friends. The well was paying off well, so I wanted to drill again. The celebration didn’t last long…I didn’t feel that high. I ended up as a ‘wildcat’ for the first 6 wells we drilled. I worked right beside my friends I was able to employ & others from my town.
After my 3rd well, I no longer found it economically beneficial to sell my oil to other distributors, so I started my own company. I began purchasing land & lease options to drill from some of the ranchers in my region. On each of these first wells, I was able to invest in half of the cost & sought loans for the rest from bankers & private individuals. I became known for my ‘TX Gold’ instincts & all of the wells I drilled came in.
What I wasn’t prepared for, was the ‘power struggles’. There were those who already made it in the oil industry who didn’t want competition. I learned about the corporate world I entered through the school of hard knocks. I soon found myself with my back against the wall. Competing for land & lease contracts with oil tycoons. I was finding myself investing more of my own assets for the wells…in price wars to distribute the oil I was already pumping.
It was during this time, that I started to lose pieces of myself. I was no longer able to drill & experience the high of bringing in the wells myself. I was too busy protecting what I already had…wheeling & dealing…learning what palms I had to put the most grease in. During this time..I started to lose many close friendships with the working stiffs I had once enjoyed so much. They felt that I was unapproachable now…I became their boss, responsible for their survival.
As a corp. we began drilling well after well…instead of wheeling & dealing with distributors to take our oil, we decided to build our own gas stations. My position & image in TX magnified & intensified. I was making money hand over fist…yet, I didn’t feel the same high. Most individuals in my biz felt a high with a new land purchase, lease or gas station…but not me. My employee base the first 10 yrs grew to hundreds…I was known for being fair. After all, I once had been where they still are.
In the mid 60’s I found myself in the inner circle of TX society & politics…I was down with the ‘Green Machine’. Johnson was in office…my corp. had already began drilling in other states. Ok, WY, MT & CO. By this time I had several thousand employed. But I still couldn’t find that natural high I received from my ‘wildcat’ days. Thus, I thought my money could find it for me. I began investing in stocks, other minerals…I became known as one of life’s sharks.
Here I am 30 yrs later…searching for a high that no amount of money can buy. I’m seen as ‘untouchable’, ‘unapproachable’…I’m responsible now for over 10,000 employees & their families. I don’t particularly like being ‘King of the Mountain’. The things I’ve had to do to get there & stay there. Some of my fellow competitors will smile at you over a drink at the country club, but they’d cut your throat if they could in the rest room.
I’m only involved now with corp. decisions…large land purchases, off-shore oil leases, approvals for advertising campaigns, etc. My position & image demands that I attend certain social functions in TX & other political events. I’m now known as a ‘dark horse’. The first time I was asked to the White House, I was honored, I didn’t feel a high though. In my life, the only time you’re invited to something or someone comes to you, is because they want something. Whether it’s money or help dealing with a situation. They don’t come to you just to share time or life….
So now I’ve come to a point where I find myself in search of ‘life’ itself. I’ve done & seen everything that money could buy…from the Seven Wonders of the World, immoral business practices to political power. Everything I have in my life has been purchased. From my wife & children to my friends & image. I take pills now to go to bed & more to wake up. You may think this is silly…but my greatest fear in life, is that I’ll go broke, lose everything, my family included. That my phone will never ring, because everything & everyone in my life has been purchased.
I’d give anything today if I could be where everyone else is. If I could feel that ‘high’. I’m responsible now for tens of thousands of employees & their families. I feel like I’m walking on egg shells…everything I have is purchased. Now with this recession under Reagan & Bush in the jockey seat…I don’t find myself no longer the ‘shark’ I once was. My best friend has become ‘fear’ itself…my mountain has become too crowded, my dream my worst ‘nightmare’.
I left TX, just told them I was going to do some traveling. They didn’t care for that, not knowing where I was going. But hey, what can they do, I’m the owner. I have 3 days to find life again to give me strength & drive to maintain my own existence. I don’t want to be known for those 3 days for who I am now, but what I once was. I don’t want the glitter or sin this city has to offer…I want to be Joe Schmuck from Timbuktu. I want to see & be around the working class…I want you to show me life again through your eyes.
PS. ‘Sorry’ received his wish for 3 days…he seemed much happier than the man who first appeared. He laughed, spoke & drank with dozens of working stiffs. He removed his 4 piece suit, his Stetson & python boots for jeans & a work shirt.
But several years later his greatest Fear became reality…I’ve wondered about ‘Sorry’ all of these years. If some of his friends from his earlier days ever called. I do know that other ‘dark horsemen’ helped him, not because of who he was, but because of what they owed him in the business & political realms.
I hope now…that ‘Sorry’ is content being where everyone else is.
This is dedicated to the ‘Sorry’ people everywhere & those who become victims of their dreams & life…..
Love & Respect,
Lady Gray

The Pen-v-The Sword

I come to those of you in life’s struggle, those within ‘the life’ and those who choose to fall prey to the agendas of the ‘streets’. I feel a need to share with all of you chapters within my life that I have shared with men judged within the judicial realms of society. I want to share with you history, knowledge, wisdom and characteristics… the elements of which I refer to as ‘psychological foreplay’ for the conditioning of social and judicial hostages within our civilization. 

“The pen is mightier than the sword.” My perception and insights to this quote follow. ‘The sword is only a tool of power to the man who holds it. The empowerment of the tool can only be implemented as long as the individual has the strength to wield it.’ The old phrase, “A man who lives by the sword, dies by the sword,” is soundly noted and appreciated. Within the history of the world we have had men who have been called ‘great conquerors’, they lived, ruled and many times as not, died by the sword 

The pen on the other hand, has forged Nations, has given us the ‘knowledge and wisdom’ to survive life and time as a civilization. It has brought the ‘whole of the people’ within the history of the world the ‘answers’ and ‘strength’ to survive life’s struggles, trials and tribulations. 

Mankind since the creation of our presence here on earth, has always had an inbred necessity to be challenged. Those who were physically or mentally depraved, often perished or failed in life, unless another member of society took up the challenge to be responsible for the survival of said person. 

Life today is chaotic and some what crazy, almost pathetic for those of us who love and respect life for both its weaknesses and strengths. Life is like a pyramid. Today those in life’s capstone are on a constant diligent search for what those in the base possess within their character. Those within the base of life are insistently in pursuit of what those in the capstone have in their closets. 

For those within the base of the pyramid, the impoverished, disenfranchised, oppressed and suppressed , our purpose within life has been revealed to us many times over since the beginning of time. We are the strength which supports eternal life here on earth. Our strength has often been suppressed and oppressed through mental conditioning, instilling inferior complexities that deter and hinder our advancement within life’s pyramid. Those within the capstone are forced to reign more and more by the Sword, lacking the character which they seek in the base. They continually embrace materialism. 

The greatest power that we possess as a ‘whole’ in the base is within our character. While the power that those in the capstone cherish is in their closets. I give to you the following analogy: In the great stock crash of 29 and the ‘Great Depression’, the following should be taken within the wisdom of all. Those within life’s capstone, who saw their lives come tumbling down around them that day, it was too much for them to bare within their character. Many jumped from buildings, out windows or pulled a trigger. You didn’t see that being done within the base of life. We ate less, stood in soup lines, slept outside…for those from the south who felt that the men to the North had freed them and became servants in their homes. I want it known that many men and women of color, not only took reductions in pay because they knew their employer didn’t have the strength to survive alone. But often, they lived right in the house and took no pay whatsoever. They had compassion for the man with little strength and displayed more humanitarian efforts and traits than those within the capstone themselves. That’s right, if it was not for the strength within our character, our compassion and passion for life itself, there would be no capstone. Such events as these have occurred throughout the history of mankind. I have noted it as far back as Roman times. 

The greatest power that we in the base possess that those within the capstone seek and envy is within our character and its traits. We have an inbred ability and talent to change and adapt, to bob and weave. Note taken, you may take a man from the base, a self-righteous, meek and humble individual and place him within life’s capstone and he will prevail. But if you take an individual within life’s capstone and place him within the base with his closets empty, he will perish unless individuals within the base pick up the challenge and help him to survive. There were not people within the base taking their lives in 1929, there were not individuals within life’s base taking their lives when Lee surrendered to Grant at Appomattox . But there were individuals within the capstone who succumbed to the weaknesses within their character. 

With this knowledge and wisdom within life’s capstone of the strength within the base of life’s pyramid, there has always been suppression and oppression within surviving life. There has always been slavery. This has been accomplished by restricting the flow and distribution of knowledge and wisdom for those in the base. Our options for a higher education and advancement lack not only diversity, but the level of quality. The need of those who wield the sword and seek a lifetime for our character, to suppress and oppress the mental frame work of those in the base. 

Throughout the history of past and present civilizations, there has always been some form of slavery and imprisonment. I don’t believe it has ever been about color, race or creed, but more so, ignorance and weaknesses possessed by those in the capstone. To further the depth of this insight and revelation, I will reveal a fact of our own slavery here in the United States . During the days of slavery throughout our budding Nation. Those who possessed slaves had no conception of the strengths within their characters in the base. They whipped, abused, starved, isolated, raped and preyed upon the mentality of slaves. They sold off their seeds from the loins of their women. They sold off the men within families thinking that they would weaken the nucleus of the Black family. Despite all of these Swords that the slaves suffered from within life, every day when they went to the fields, the smoke houses, the main plantation houses, they all did one thing. They sang their praises to life. This irritated those who possessed them to no end, not comprehending why individuals praised life, when if the shoe was on the other foot, they themselves would not be singing praise or surviving. No matter what type of Sword they created, they could not break their spirit and will. 

With this knowledge and wisdom in hand, let us apply it to the ‘life’ and ‘struggle’ today. For those of you who have sought me out in search of knowledge in the stages within the ‘life’ that are often referred to as ‘top dogs’ and OG’s, pay close attention. If your ass is numbing out, let me know and I will sink my teeth a little deeper. 

Those within life’s base not only ‘struggle’ to survive the Swords which are wielded today, but we have compounded our burdens by restricting our options and advancement in life. Those of us in life’s base, have become our own worst enemy. 

We assist the Swords in draining our characters and resources for advancement. We went from communities and neighborhoods to just ‘hoods’. This was accomplished by the elite and those within the capstone by the erection of projects and slums. My definition of projects and slums follow. “It is modern man’s concentration camp, developed to suppress and detain a certain class of impoverished and disenfranchised citizens, to deter and dishearten their ‘spirit and will’ to advance within life’s pyramid.” 

Certain individuals within these environments and developments, envious of what the elite and those in the capstone had hanging in their closets, decided to pick up the Sword and embrace its false strength. We began to limit our options and advancement by placing judgments and boundaries on others within our base. We boxed ourselves in life even further by creating boundaries, ‘hoods’ and ‘turf’. We picked up the Swords for those within the capstone to rid ourselves of our strength, to prey on and further delete the resources within the base. 

Every time another life within the base is taken, we lose 2 grains of sand from our strength and within our investment for the future. We lose one grain by the taking of blood. We lose the other through imprisonment within the walls of time. Thus weakening the character within even the ‘hood’. Everyday across this country, grains of sand leave the base, like the sand which runs through an hour glass. 

When our mentality shifted to installing boundaries, the strength within our character began to diminish. Weakening the elements which give our character strength. The elements of Roots, Heritage, Wisdom, Compassion and Passion for life itself. When those within the capstone recognized this shift and character trait, they further capitalized on it, by removing the self-implemented Swords from our ‘hoods’ and isolating the ‘Pen’. 

The greatest advancement and victory seized within the base of the pyramid is well noted with the Civil Rights and Human Rights victories of the 60’s and early 70’s. These victories were not accomplished by the Sword, but by peaceful movement and the Pen. Seeing that the base had captured the Power of the Pen, they removed some of our greatest leaders and mentors within the base. Over the history of our time the greatness of individuals like Medgar Evans, Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, Larry Hoover and others were not only isolated, but removed from life. All of these men understood, that one of the ‘Golden Keys’ to the ‘Temple of Life’ was in the peaceful demonstration of the Pen and within singing the praises of life itself. Today, many have tried to advance life by the ‘false’ portrait of power displayed by the Sword and have failed. Their efforts resulting in death, destruction, imprisonment and the advanced weakening of life’s base. 

There is a difference between a bad leader amongst the base and a good leader within the base, both distributing the advancement of life by the Sword. One may feel that the Power of the Sword maybe their only option for relief from the ‘struggle’. The other may see the Sword as an effective tool in advancing his own self-serving agenda of capturing what the elite hold within their closets. When the Sword is used to seek relief, it sends a negative portrait of weak desperation. Thus I give to you the organizations of terrorists and ‘freedom cells’ which distribute acts of violence to portray their struggles. In the end, the social realms only perceive destruction and annihilation, not the journey or the portraits of pain and misery which led them to pick up the Sword in the first place. 

You can often tell the difference between the two classifications of Sword baring men. One will be righteous in his judgments and decisions, ruling not only with ‘knowledge and wisdom’ but compassion as well. The other will rule by the ‘Sword’ only, with little wisdom and seldom with the exertion of compassion or empathy. A man who wields a sword for the whole of his people or those under his care, to seek peace and advancement, will be a man with a legacy in the history books. But a man who wields the Sword with little thought or consideration for those within his realms or under his care, on a self-serving agenda, will fall when his arms get to heavy to swing the sword himself. He lives by the motto, “It’s a dog eat dog world”, thus displaying no respect for those within the base or life itself. 

When a leader directs his cause by the ‘Pen’ his intellect and understanding of life and man will prevail. His strengths of ‘knowledge and wisdom’ will be victorious and leave a legacy for generations to come. He will recognize the weaknesses within those who follow. If he has an individual with treachery and larceny in his heart, the Sword will not touch him. He will not let the individual get any bigger within ‘the life’ itself, he will not allow him to eat from his dish, but have the wisdom to know that the individual can still bring sustenance to his well of knowledge and put water in his dish. On the other hand, The Sword, will rid himself of the individual, displaying the ‘fear’ factor as a message to others, begin his search for another to take his place and rule by the Sword to put water in his dish. 

The differences between these two are further detected by their displays of mentality. While one thinks of himself and ‘living for the moment and today’. the other thinks of living for tomorrow and how many from the base will see the sun rise on the horizon. A ‘top dog’ who does not think of our ‘Seeds for Tomorrow’ the youth, the future which will entertain the ‘strength of our character’ in the base, is on a self-serving agenda. He will not care if those who put food in his dish, eat themselves or not. 

A man who rules out of ‘fear’ and wields the Sword lacks the ‘character’ which gives strength to the base. He is often insecure due to his lack of ‘knowledge and wisdom’. He is often paranoidal to the effect that he believes that everyone who follows in his foot steps, are after what he also seeks and has in his ‘closet’. His greatest tool to advance his agenda are the tools of ‘fear’ and ‘The Sword’. He often asks others to do the deeds which he himself does not have the strength to carry out or stomach. He uses portraits and vices of negativity to condition and lure his followers or subjects. His subjects not realizing they drain their own strength to fuel their leaders ego and shortcomings, are soon discarded when they also lose strength and the stomach to carry out horrendous acts against humanity and heinous crimes. 

The ‘Pen’ on the other hand will look for peaceful tools and options which will further advance the growth of his subjects. He will have compassion and empathy for his fellow man. He will make sure that those within his ‘hood’ also have food on their plates. He will enlighten those within his realms in regards to the vices, weaknesses and false portraits, so they do not fall or succumb to elements which will drain their individual strengths. For when individuals within his community are weak and disheartened, the ’whole’ withers and dies, losing the elements and traits which make our survival possible as we ’struggle’ to advance life. Thus draining his own strength and blessings bestowed upon him by life itself for tending to the preservation of those within the base and life. 

Men have always had judgments passed upon them in regards to self worth, materialism, friends, family and spouse. In choosing a spouse, sometimes referred to as ‘your better half’, or ‘within’ the life as “your best line of security‘, the mate is often chosen as a reflection of the man’s self worth in character. 

Always remember that your mate should be just as strong or stronger than your own character. For they are not only ‘your best line of security’, but also referred to as your ‘weakest link.’ Often an individual who rules by ‘fear’ and ‘wields the sword’, will choose a mate with greater weaknesses than his own. Relying on that absence of strength to protect his own agenda and make his mate totally dependent on his character and position. Not realizing that a mate who was just as strong, would further advance his agenda and enhance his own strength. 

An individual who rules by the ‘Pen’ however, searches for someone with strength akin to their own or more so. They recognize the strength and power within their unity and advance life through mutual co-operation and respect. Men who rule with fear and by the Sword, are not above violence on their own and mates. Men who rule by the ‘Pen’ realize, if they have to abuse the ones they love, then they don’t need them! 

Over the years, I have come to the conclusion, that those in the base have more than their share of life’s trials and tribulations visit them. It is due to the strength which they possess within their character. We embrace the challenges, survive, exist and live to dream of peace, an oasis for a civilization. In meeting the challenge, we expound our strengths and self character. We cherish and respect life, all its blessings and failings, beauty and ugliness. 

The Sword-v-The Pen…which has the greatest strength? The Sword who does not have the strength to survive a challenge and therefore slays it. Or the Pen, who accepts and embraces the challenge, uses their own intellect and strength in character to successfully overcome life’s challenge? 

You decide where your character will take you, whether you will survive long enough to endure life and its challenges, to write your own legacy for the generations to come. The ‘old folks’ have a saying, “You made your bed, now you lie in it!” In this case, it’s between a bed and a coffin…feathers or silk? Legacies…or empty photo albums, b-days, your children’s first steps, prom, marriage, or your seeds giving the gift of life? 

Are we not all share croppers in life….we get out of life, what we invest in it. We harvest, what we have chosen to sow….. 


I leave you as I came, with a great deal of love and respect for life….. 

Lady Gray

"Profiling Political Thuggism"..Lady Gray

Hmmmm.....Lady Gray here.  Well, I have tried to spread knowledge and the mentality of those on the hill.  Nothing that the social masses hasn't known for some time, just things they often put on the back burners though to simmer and forget about until the pot is ready to boileth over. Let the shit hit the fan!  I've discussed this phrase over the years with some of the men incarcerated, a phrase of darkness often used with judicial proportions and ramifications. I never worry about shit hitting the fan myself, it really doesn't spread very far, of course that depends on the size of the fan and wind velocity.  What I worry about more is shit on the street...everyone walks in it and it travels far, much harder to clean up....from a social and political view, ha ask the boys on the hill about that one. Top dogs within street orgz are no different than the men we have on ladders in the political realms of the government structure....in other words if the "thug" shoe fits then wear it. Always remember that a man who rules with fear and without compassion will have a short tenure and destructive legacy.  They often sit and lay with cronies of the same mentality on their porches.  The problem is they use puppies to do their bidding, underlings who have them under their thumbs and rely on them for survival.  But when puppies get scared they start to whine and yelp, if they do it long and loud enough sooner or later someones going to hear them. In regards to dissension....this isn't an issue about races, not if one uses logic and wisdom, it's about the elements of survival. It's about the impoverished, the disenfranchised, the down trodden and the disheartened.  It's about the will within an individual to write his own legacy over time, to change, to excel, to move life in a positive and productive direction to leave something standing for tomorrow. We were once the number one industrial nation in the world, we're now ranked number five...our monetary system was once one of the strongest in the world, now we have all we can do just to dog paddle and keep our heads above our brothers to the south and I'm not talking about the Bushies in TX either.  This is about the masses struggling now to merely exist, remembering what it was like to live and having the wisdom to know the difference between the two.  The problem is our numbers are swelling and now we want to be counted and heard by the chosen few who live. In regards to dissension and aggressive positivity through demonstration, I want everyone to remember the PLO, IRA, etc. knowledge of one's plight is often over looked by the social masses when there is violence, they often only see portraits of destruction and not the pain or strife that painted them.  Thus my staunch beliefs in strength in numbers and collective wisdom and knowledge to excel life in positive growth and development. I only ask people to remember that a dog or thug who rules in fear, often casts a shadow that he himself can no longer outrun or live with. When that happens you have a scared and dangerous animal on your hands, one whose often lonely and becomes isolated....you can always tell he's an element in the social structure of life that's ready to go down because you can see him biting and chewing on his own ass........ Two negatives don't make a positive, and when a dog gets too many fleas he can't enjoy life because he's too busy scratching!!!! I leave as I came with a great deal of love and respect for life. Lady Gray/bossladyjmc